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How to Begin Lifting Weights

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In case you were wondering if this is a good time to begin lifting weights: any time is a good time to begin lifting weights! You are not too old, and you are not too weak, you are not too busy.

Lifting weights truly can change your life! It is like a cheat code – if you are stronger, everything feels easier. If you are healthier, the good times feel great. You don’t have to be strong to start, and you don’t have to want to be a bodybuilder or meathead.

Additionally, there are many ways to practice resistance training: lifting weights with free weights, kettlebells, dumbbells, or using band resistance or even bodyweight exercises. All of this is lifting. You can do this at the gym or at home. 

Related: learn how to overcome gym intimidation. Short term mindset shifts for long term confidence.

I recommend going to your doctor to get a baseline physical before you begin. From there, remember: you can lift weights! 

How to begin lifting weights. Kathryn Alexander of Alexander Training swings a kettlebell in her garage gym. Photo by Ben Porter.

What Do You Need to Start Lifting Weights

The great thing about lifting weights is that you can begin with very little. You can start at home with bodyweight exercises. If it suits you, you can start at the gym with machines and free weights. The gym is for beginners and advanced lifters alike, and so are all the means by which you can lift: bodyweight exercises, bands, machines or dumbbells. Any of these methods of training can increase strength.

If you enjoy lifting at home, you can lift at home as long as you’d like. The options for home gym builds these days are amazing, from basic and utilitarian to truly incredible training facilities. Check out Garage Gym Reviews for inspiration and information about how to build the perfect home gym for you. It’s very fun to have training equipment at home, but it’s not a necessity. Many of my clients prefer to keep their home home, and commute to the gym. 

A word of warning: a home gym won’t save you money. There’s a good chance you’ll get hooked, and you’ll want one more barbell, then a few more weights, then that fun new accessory, and then a garage renovation to house it all. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya! 

The most important thing to remember is that you start where you start. It is relative to where you are in your fitness and strength levels. Start with an appropriate amount of weight, like Goldilocks (not too much, not too little). Actually, err on the side of too light. Rest, repeat, and add a bit of a challenge next time.

Beginners Weight Lifting Tips

In the next section, I’ll give you concrete starting points, such as what exercises to learn for a solid foundation of good form. Remember mindset is very important too, so keep these quick tips in mind as you begin your weight lifting career. (Note that when I say weight lifter, I am referring to one who lifts weights, not only one who competes in the sport of weightlifting.)

  1. Just do it! Just get started! Even if you are a bit apprehensive, confused, or timid. Nobody knows everything, and nobody starts as anything but a beginner. Just do it; trust me, it’ll get better! 
  2. Start light. Whether it is a machine you aren’t familiar with, or free weights that offer a gazillion weight options; start very light. Feel out the movement with the light weight and think about it as you go. Your analysis of the movement will tell you how to proceed as far as adding weights.
  3. Building off the last point: focus on the feel of the movement and the muscles that you are using. Studying anatomy will help this but is not a prerequisite. Even if you don’t know anatomy, you can learn from your body as you move. 
  4. Identify your sticking point if you are having a hard time moving forward. Is it lack of confidence in you routine? A tight schedule? Need some new equipment? There is an answer to all of those, whether it is working with a training, following a training program to maximize time spent (try a free week on any of my programs here) or hitting up craigslist.com to get you started with equipment. 
  5. Try this to learn more about your shoulders and posture in less than two minutes.
  6. Remember all the benefits of lifting weights! The health, physique and mental benefits will always work in your favor. 
  7. Back to number 1: just do it! 

Get a Trainer

If you do your due diligence, you can find a professional trainer who truly views this industry as a profession. This means he or she will teach you well, help you move quickly and not waste time, prevent injury as much as possible, and write a specific program for what you are working for. 

A trainer can help you find modifications so exercises fit your body best, help you work through your sticking points, and even help build your confidence and keep you accountable. 

It is my goal to educate my clients as we go so they can be independent. I don’t ever want to quit working with my clients, but I always want them to have a plan and the ability to do it on their own. Often, people need just a few months to get their feet under them and have all the tools to proceed independently. In that case, I’m happy happy to hear their progress reports as they break off onto their own.

Form

Study form as you begin lifting weights. Good form will apply to exercise regardless of what kind of implements, weights, or bodyweight exercises you are utilizing. Good form will allow you to move faster toward your goals, prevent injury, and get the most out of each exercise. Don’t let fear of perfection slow you down, though. There is a wide gray area of safe and acceptable form. Do your best and plan to improve as you go. Remember Tip number 1: just do it! 

Beginner Body Weight Exercises

The following exercises are foundational to movement. That means these should be practiced by beginners, and continually utilized through your lifting career. They’ll become easier, but I want you to always practice them deliberately. They’ll become more like warm up and reinforcement work than hard working sets as you progress. 

Watch these videos and practice the movements. Please reach out to me if you have questions!

Basic squat with no weight

basic squat with no weight
Y for rear delts
plank walk out
reverse lunge
hinge
dead bug

Beginning Resistance Training with Bands

Resistance bands can help you develop strength at different angles. Please be careful to buy good bands, keep them inside, and check frequently for potential tears. Also be certain that your anchor point is secure so that you won’t pop yourself in the microphone you are wearing on your face as you teach a group exercise class in front of 25 sorority girls at LSU circa 2004. Hypothetically, haha, that would be sooo embarrassing.

band pullaparts
band row
band deadlift

Beginner Weight Exercises

goblet squat
dumbbell overhead press
machine row

For a full post about how to do the goblet squat, click here.

Create a Routine

Building exercise into your routine and following a plan will help you maintain your lifting habits. Remember, lifting weights will help you as long as you are able to lift, so find a way to lift for many many years. It is about consistency and progress, not perfection and knowing-it-all. Nobody knows it all, and nobody is perfect at first, if ever. Please don’t let that stop you from getting started on an enjoyable hobby that can save your life! 

For an in-depth look at how to find or develop a training plan, read here.

Begin Lifting Weights Today!

Lifting weights can make your life better almost immediately, with very little cost or equipment necessary to begin. I hope you try some of these exercises linked above and begin your strength journey. I wish you the best of luck, and invite you to please email me kathryn@kathrynalexander.com with questions, progress updates, and my favorite, your wins! Happy lifting! 

In a Rut? Do This One Thing For a Mid Year Restart

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This is an update of a post originally published in 2015. I think it is important to take stock of where you are and if it’s where you want to be. If not, make a deliberate change to get on the path.

It is fall as I am writing this. If you made New Year goals, you should be in your “after” situation right now. This was going to be the year, you were going to make the changes you know you’ve been needing to. You were going to establish a healthy, disciplined routine.

Did you?


The Texas coast

The Texas coast

Or maybe you’re on that vacation you wanted to get in shape for. The big trip you bought comfortable shoes for, in anticipation of covering miles of European cobblestone. Perhaps your active vacation was carrying golf clubs on your dream course. I hope some of you got to do that.

We Are All Busy

One of the biggest perks of my job helping people in the gym is that I interact with a large number of the same people on a very regular basis, and I get to see real trends as they happen.

It is fascinating. We are more alike and in tune with each other than we think. When the seasons change and the weather is beautiful, nearly everyone bounds in the gym with energy and optimism.

Likewise, I see moments when the collective sentiment is a very unenthusiastic “blah.” This was the case recently in Austin, and could have been caused by low grade, often undetectable mold allergies, according to a local acupuncturist.

This is why I can say with certainly that if you feel like your year has gotten away from you, you are not alone.

Summer is busy, fall is busier

Summer often passes in a blur of planning and flying by the seat of your pants. You’ve got to plan work and family schedules, childcare, summer camps, and vacation hotels and activities.


So many red dots.

So many red dots.

Regular appointments are subject to reschedules and cancellations, and long vacations end with a pile of emails and to-dos awaiting at the office.

Before we know it, summer turns to fall and the sweet relief of routine. Until after school sports, and new activities. Holidays and holiday planning sneak up.

And so, it is easy to see why our fitness routines fall by the wayside. We are almost a year removed from New Year’s Resolutions, where the abundant optimism of others propels you along too.

What Should You Do?

But you still have goals for your body even when life is busy. You still want your abs to be a little tighter, and your back to be pain-free. So what is a busy person to do?

Something. Anything, but do it now. Do not wait for “the right time” or til life gets a little less busy. It’ll never happen, because as soon as it does, something else gets thrown in your lap.

Healthy, successful people do not wait for the right time.

Your Homework

Pick one thing and commit to doing that one thing. What is that one thing? I don’t know. I’ll give you a list of ideas, but I recommend you take a mental inventory of your strengths. You know yourself and your habits better than anyone else.

Exercise is an extremely nuanced topic we could study forever. There are years-long graduate programs of study in exercise, and hundreds of thousands of research studies on exercise. The big things, however, are well understood: eat well and move your body. You know which of those you are good at, such as cooking a great chicken salad, or committing to morning yoga classes.

Guidelines

Your activity must be something:

  • You can do everyday, or with some regularity

  • You are 95% sure you can maintain

See what we are doing here? We are setting you up to be successful. We are setting you up to win.

The Rules

  • Commit to doing this thing for one month. You can continue on if you like, but it’s perfectly fine to quit at one month.

  • No guilt! No guilt if you miss a day. Just prepare better so you can do it tomorrow.

Give this some thought, then if you choose to commit, give it a real, honest go. It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant the action is. You are making a commitment, making positive change, and establishing a habit.

Why Just One Thing?

People do better at change where there is only one change to focus on. After your month, you can pick a different one or add another. Remember, the smallest healthy change you make is better for you the the comprehensive health overhaul that you abandon.

(Reason #2 for just one thing, I always wanted to make a cheesy title like that. “Do this one weird trick!!” Haha!)

Examples:

  • Stretch for 15 minutes every evening

  • Attend yoga or Pilates class 3 times a week

  • Floss your teeth every day

  • Drink 64 ounces of water every day

  • Do this 2 Minute No Sweat Series to start your day

  • Weight train 3 times per week

  • Get 8 hours of sleep every day

  • Cook a healthy breakfast every morning

  • Have 2 boiled eggs every morning for the 12 extra grams of protein

  • Meditate for 15 minutes every day

  • Do a challenging sudoku or crossword puzzle every day

  • Express gratitude every day

  • Give a genuine compliment every day

  • Walk around your block every morning

  • Consume approximately 25/38 grams of fiber per day (female/male, respectively)

One final note. Email me if you need accountability! Email me to tell me your habit! I would love to update this list with healthy habits I haven’t mentioned, and I’m fantastic at nagging, I mean, checking in to see how you are sticking to your plan.

Read next: The craziest thing I did for recovery, and why what I learned still helps me today

How to Make Yourself Take Action: Exercise Minute with KVUE

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Happy New Year! Whew! We did it, guys! We made it through the Christmas frenzy. I’m still a little bit Pollyanna: I love Christmas, with all its travel and and gift giving and family loving. 

Even with all the good, it was stressful, and I have a teeny little sense of relief to pack up the Christmas decor until next year. 

 

What Next?

Many people finish the holidays with a little bit of exhaustion, a couple extra pounds, and a lotta bit of guilt. Let me save you lots of time and mental anguish and assure you: 

  • There is no need to detox! Do not take detox tea or wraps. Our kidneys and liver do that for us.

  • There is no need to feel guilty! We are made to seek pleasure from our relationships and meaningful holidays. Turn that attention forward!

Quick, before you keep reading, pull out your phone and make an event on your calendar 7 days from now. Title it “Because I am worth it.”

It’s Not Always So Easy

I’m going to take us back to school for a minute here and introduce you to the Transtheoretical Stages of Change Model. Bear with me; I have found this to be extremely helpful in understanding where people (including me!) are when they approaching making changes in their health, or why they don’t make any change at all. 

Developed by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, this suggests that people are not universally in the same place, ready to change. Some people are. Some people are not. 

You can read the full text here, and please take a minute to acknowledge how wonderful it is to be able to read journal text freeeee! Transtheoretical Therapy: Toward a More Integrative Model of Change  

The stages move from less likely to change, to a post-change maintenance phase. For example, consider someone you know who smokes. Some smokers hate the habit and are seeking ways to quit. Maybe they have even already taken action, and tried to quit. Some smokers are just doing their thing, not wanting to quit at all. 


Stages of Change.png

Why is this? Why are some people ready to change, and others not even considering it, and even more confusing, some declaring they are ready to quit, but haven’t taken any steps toward quitting? 

The Stages of Change model suggests that the smoker who has no inclination to change is in the pre contemplative stage. He isn’t even contemplating change. It is nowhere on his horizon to even think about quitting. 

The contemplative smoker is considering it. He has considered quitting, and maybe has a good why: his health, being there for his kids, etc. He hasn’t taken action though. Not quite yet. 

The smoker in the preparation phase has made up his mind to change! He will change, and is actively considering how to. (Personal trainers, THIS is where people are when they call you and request a consult. Help them here, be excited for them! They are going to make progress!) If your friend the smoker is in this phase, encourage him with happiness and support! Take a walk after dinner so he won’t be tempted to light up.

The action phase! This is where it happens! This is where people smoker fewer cigarettes, try the patch, or alter their cigarette buying/smoking habits. This is where people join a gym, exercise, take walks around the block. 

What we want to see is people in the maintenance phase. This means they have been in the action phase and are living in a good habit. They don’t have the mental struggle of not smoking after every meal, or going to the gym every day. This is where we want people to be. This is where I want you to be.

 

Back It Up: Where are You?

The reason I tell you about the Stages of Change: I want you to understand that where you are is OK, and that you shouldn’t feel guilty about not being in maintenance NOW. If you were in pre contemplation yesterday, you won’t be in maintenance tomorrow.

Further, and more importantly, I want you to know you can push yourself toward an action phase. You don’t have to hope it magically comes around. It is peaceful to accept that you are where you are, and you make steps toward where you want to be. Remember, I might not be pre contemplative about my training, but I am about other things in my life. This is good for us all to consider. 

If you are reading this, you are likely in a contemplative or preparatory phase. To push yourself toward the action phase, we are going to look forward and get ready for you to take action!

 

How to Push Yourself to Take Action

Remember that everything is a mental game. We make our schedules, our decisions, our priorities. If exercise and training is truly important to you, begin thinking about why and how you are going to take action. 

Answer these questions:


How precious are they?

How precious are they?

  1. Why is this important to you? Examples:
    – I want to be there for my grandkids. Shoot, not even be there, I want to be on the floor playing with them on Christmas morning! (Aunt Kathryn worked realllll hard to keep up with the kids this Christmas. I want to be able to do that forever!)
    – I want to feel better about my body so I am confident when dating.
    – I want to be able to keep up with everyone else in Austin who seems to have a really active lifestyle. (True story; I am reminded I need to practice cardio more when I get suckered into running around Lady Bird Lake.)
    – I want my butt bigger. No shame, girl! You own your body and you get to make it what you want. Want bigger biceps and chest? Same!

  2. What type of activities do you enjoy? Be honest with yourself! Like I mentioned, I don’t love running. Make me “commit” to a running program, and I will fail. This from a girl who did 26 squat workouts in October. #Squatober

  3. What schedule works for you? Pick a schedule you have a high likelihood of sticking to. Will you workout at lunch time? If so, pack a gym bag with shower sandals, a towel, and soap.

  4. Think about what you need to begin. Aforementioned gym bag, tennis shoes, a bike?

 

Erika Lopez of KVUE and I discuss the importance of choosing a plan, activities you enjoy, and acting on it to begin the New Year in a healthy way. (Both this text and the picture are links.)

Some people think of this as working on New Year’s Resolutions, which makes total sense at this time of year. I want you to apply this action-taking framework anytime of the year, though. You don’t get a free pass if you happen to be reading this mid year! It’s always a good time to do something good for yourself!


Resolutions_1.png


Resolutions_2.png

Clearly, we are super excited to share this with yall.

 

What Next

Look forward. No more guilt. Consider everything you just thought of. What is popping in your head? Time to join that running group you’ve been meaning to see about? Next time you drive by, park your car at that gym you drive by and look at every day. Maybe you know you should go to the grocery store and make those healthy meals you know how to.

Go back to that date you put in your phone. That’s your goal date. Do that thing, that one starting step, by the date from now. Because you are worth it. 

Then, my friend, you will be in the action phase. 

Guys, I LIVE for updates! Email me or comment below and fill me in on what steps you’ve taken for you! kathryn@kathrynalexander.com

Get 50% off your first two months with The Home Team Training here:

Four Simple but Effective Strategies to Improve Your Diet

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Diet change is always hard and has implications beyond just what you eat. It affects how you feed your family, and how you socialize. But remember: eating healthier makes you feel better, and that stays with you every minute of the day. It is worth it! Do your best and keep making good decisions to improve your diet!

Are you ready to make a healthy change but don’t know where to start? Here are four options.

1: Get Enough of What You Need. The “Good Enough” Diet.

The “Good Enough” diet is my favorite. It means you don’t focus on what you are cutting out; you focus on what you are eating. Your goal is to eat everything you need to make a healthy day. It means that your priority isn’t restricting things, it’s getting enough of the things you need. For this plan, you first identify how much protein, fat, carbs, water, and fiber you need. You make sure that you reach these targets every day. After that, you can eat and drink other things.

The beauty of this is that when you were getting enough healthy things, you don’t have as much room for splurges. You also won’t give in to hunger cravings and make bad decisions due to being ravenous (because you won’t be ravenous!). If you want to splurge, you can! You just won’t want or need to as often.

Another benefit of this approach is that you aren’t going to be deficient in vitamins or nutrients. You’ll be well hydrated, well functioning, and you won’t feel restricted. You’ll be taking in enough protein to build muscle (because you are working out, right?!).

This is the program I usually follow. I get enough of everything I need to nourish my body and grow from my workouts, and I don’t feel guilty if I throw Blue Bell in there.

This is good for it: holidays. A more relaxed time in life. Maintenance or strength phases, since it might be a caloric surplus.

2: Nail Down One Healthy Meal that becomes Easy and Habitual

With this approach, you pick one meal each day that you can commit to eating healthy. This will be the same meal every day. It gives you a foundation upon which to build healthy habits.

Breakfast is a great meal to make your healthy foundation. First, decide your goal for the meal. Let’s say it is 30 g of protein, 40 g of carbs, and 11 g of fat. Build a meal that satisfies those needs. This might be scrambled eggs, sautéed vegetables which you prepared the night before, a piece of toast and half an apple.

Make it simple, doable, and commit to having it every day. This meal serves as the basis for a healthy rest of the day. From there, try to make good choices at lunch and dinner, but if the wheels fall off later in the day, you know you got a healthy breakfast. Regardless of how you eat the rest of the day, when you get home, plan to make your healthy breakfast. That one staple meal is non-negotiable. Do not get lazy with this one.

Some people might want to make their staple meal dinner. If you prefer a light breakfast, and don’t have a problem eating a healthy lunch, dinner might be the better option.

If your office mates often go out to lunch, establishing lunch as your healthy staple meal might be the most beneficial option for you. In this case, you scope out the restaurants that you frequent, identify the healthiest meal on the menu, and pick that. That way you know you all your healthy options, and you choose them consistently.

This is good for: People who are busy. It takes a little bit of work on the front end, but from there is easy to maintain.

3: Don’t Eat The Things You Know You Shouldn’t: The Common Sense Diet.

Don’t eat the things you know you shouldn’t. This is called the common sense diet because it is common sense. You don’t have to be a nutritionist to know that some foods don’t bring you closer to your goals.

This is a very hands off eating plan for people who generally have self control. It means you just don’t eat the things you know you shouldn’t eat. If your goal is weight loss, you know you shouldn’t eat donuts. It won’t bring you closer to your goal. So, choose not to. This requires some willpower, but is the simplest plan. If you have 100 pounds to lose, this plan is pretty simple, does not require counting calories or grams, and can help you progress. Be honest with yourself and make good decisions.

This is good for: people who are looking for simplicity, and people who don’t want to count numbers, but can commit to make themselves better.

4: Focus on Fixing Your One Worst Habit

Focus on fixing your one worst habit. This can be a game changer for people who have a really bad habit. The best example is drinking full sugar sodas or sweet teas. I’m a southern girl and I love my sweet tea, but I can’t have multiple glasses every day. (I could, easily. It’s delicious! But I choose not to).

Perhaps your worst habit is that pint of ice cream every night, or a whole pizza every night for dinner.

This is actually an ok problem to have, because this adds up so quickly, and eliminating or reducing it will add up quickly in your favor. This isn’t for everyone. If you are already eating pretty balanced and don’t have any excessive vices, this might not bring you a lot of results.

This is good for: people who have a bad habit that adds up quickly and are willing to eliminate or reduce it.

Will These Diets Work For You?

All of these approaches stop short of counting every calorie and every gram. They won’t be thorough enough for people who are looking to compete in bodybuilding or physique. Also, if you have so much weight to lose that your health needs to be your first priority, you will benefit from being stricter than any of these approaches. However, these are great places to start.

Need Ideas For Your Staple Meals?

Here are some of my favorites:

Italian Seasoned Baked Chicken and Brussels Sprouts that actually taste good

Salmon, Broccoli and Rice

Scrambled Eggs, Grits, and Bacon

Try It!

Do any of these resonate with you? Have you tried any of these? Let me know if you implement any of these and how they work for you!

Why is it Important to Take Ownership: Get What You Want

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Taking ownership of your life, your body, your habits, and your results is the most important thing you can do in life.

This will be the most important blog post I write.

More important than any technical info, any recipe, or any magic secret. Taking ownership gives you freedom, control, and means you can get what you want.

Note: the concept of taking control of your life is one I have preached for a long time. (If you don’t control your life, how can you change it?) The word “ownership” and the concept of owning your decisions is one that Jocko Willink espouses. Thank you to Jocko for stating this more eloquently than I have ever even dreamed of.

Did You Workout Yesterday?

Did you workout yesterday? If not, why not? Did you get your workouts last week? If not, do your reasons sound like this:

  • I was so busy.
  • I had an unexpected meeting thrown at me.
  • I was so tired. I got to the end of the day and just couldn’t do it.
  • I forgot my gym bag. Or sports bra, or shoes, etc.
  • My kid got sick and it threw off my whole day.
  • I got roped into a lunch with coworkers.
  • I had a going away meeting with a friend who’s moving. She’s moving, I couldn’t miss that.
  • Oooh, I had a last minute date. Surprise happy hour!

Some of those are legitimate issues. If your kids get sick, you have to take care of them. Getting your job done means attending a meeting you didn’t know you had and working late to meet a deadline you can’t control.

Assess Your Life

You probably don’t have control of every aspect of your life or schedule, but you have control of enough things to be successful. Your responsibility is to identify your weaknesses, your challenges, and how you can overcome those things.

You also need to let go of your excuses. You need to know you can get workouts, plan your food, lose weight and increase strength even with your work and family responsibilities.

Don’t believe me? Look around. Many people in your situation are working full time, volunteering, driving kids around, and still making their health a priority. Somewhere among the 7 billion plus people sharing this planet are many people who have the exact, or almost exact, same scenario as you and overcame it.

They aren’t super moms and dads, uber successful people who get an extra 2 hours a day. They are people who encountered a problem, studied it until found a solution, and planned for it next time. This is all trial and error. They might have missed a workout or two until finding a workable solution, but you can get someone in your situation found that workable solution.

Consider again the reasons you had trouble getting in your workouts last week. Look at those reasons/excuses/roadblocks and be very honest with yourself about them. Are you actually too tired to exercise, or do you just hate your chosen exercise? Honestly identifying these reasons is key. From here, look for patterns. Are you raring to go Monday morning, weekend indulgences fresh on your mind, but tapering off by Wednesday?

Give this real thought. There aren’t right or wrong answers. Don’t feel shame about them. It’s not whining about excuses if you’re actually identifying roadblocks with the goal to eliminate or manage them.

Make a Plan

Take the “I’m too tired” reason for not working out. Perhaps you are so tired and this keeps you from working out 4 days a week. It might not even be an excuse because you are legitimately really tired!

Instead of telling yourself you must just barge through the fatigue, look at other areas in your life. Can you improve your sleep habits so you are more well rested? Perhaps your company treats you to a giant food fest at lunch that makes you crash in the afternoon. Work on feeling rested and it won’t take so much willpower to do your workout.

Knock Down Barriers

Let’s look at another. You forgot your gym bag. Guilty! I used to do it all the time. I’ve started carrying extra clothes in a bag in my trunk, and an outfit that’s nice enough for happy hour or dinner. I can get a workout and go straight from the gym. I don’t have to go home, skip my workout, get ready and then go.

That is preemptively planning for success. I don’t have to refuse last minute invites unless I want to! (Let’s be real; I’m a planner. I am SOOO down for dinner 2 Thursdays from now, 7:15pm).

In a more difficult scenario, you might find yourself at work, facing a deadline when you get a call about a sick kid. It’s hard to leave because you have bosses to whom you are accountable and you’re accountable to your team.

What do you do? You get your kid.

You miss your workout. Thats fine! It’s one day!

If having to leave work to pick up your child was a rare situation because he isn’t often sick and your spouse was out of town, then you don’t have to handle it differently. Take care of your family, eat a good dinner and get your next scheduled workout.

If it is a common occurrence that this makes you miss your workout, make a plan around it. You can do early morning workouts before any interruption, or tougher weekend workouts with quick low intensity exercise mid workday. Many people do this, especially busy people who are accountable most of the business hours. That doesn’t mean it’ll be easy, or fun.

But it will be worth it!

Plan Your Food Too

Food is a huge part of your success whether you’re trying to lose fat, gain muscle, or improve performance. Like you examined your workouts, look back on your diet. What did you eat for breakfast today? Did it push you in the right direction? Did the food and drink choices you made this week help you?

If not, what is the reason? Often it is just lack of preparation. You run out the door in the morning, and grab what happens to be in the fridge. Nothing in the fridge? There’s always that taco truck every day by work. (Or does that only happen in Austin? It feels like they will chase you down with food!) You have to prepare or you’ll end up making do with what aren’t the best options.

Parents often tell me it’s tough making healthy food choices with children. The kid’s tastes are fickle or they have kid birthday parties with sweets and junk food. Many parents have found success modeling healthy eating at home and including the children in the same meals as age appropriate.

As I grew up, my mom explained to me that sweets, such as those at birthday parties, are for special occasions. It made me understand that we can indulge guilt-free, but it doesn’t happen every day.

Include Family in Your Healthy Habits

As you change your habits, expect that you might get some pushback from your spouse, family and friends.

A 2014 study of data from over 2000 adults found that we are genetically more similar to people who choose as our friends than we are to strangers. Perhaps this can explain why people are sometimes threatened by the choices their friends make.

Have you ever noticed that if you decline a drink, or a dessert, people encourage you to “go ahead, have just one!”? Our friends and their habits are so familiar to us, that when we start to change, it affects them too.

However, wouldn’t you want a friend who is abstaining for health reasons to make that healthy choice? Absolutely! Is it Topo Chico in her glass? Vodka soda? As long as she is safe, it shouldn’t matter to us. Remember that this works the other way as well. You get to decide to have a salad, skip dessert, partake in dessert, drink or abstain.

Stand Your Ground

Here is where you have to stand by your decisions. Decide what your goals are and how aggressively you will pursue them. Then consider how it will affect your life and those around you (even if it shouldn’t affect them.)

If you decide to quit drinking for a month but you have a standing happy hour with your party crowd, prepare to (briefly) explain your decision if it comes up and stick with it.

Don’t Fall Into the Busy Trap

Who isn’t busy? Everybody is busy! The only people who aren’t busy are the people who planned well and worked hard to structure a life that allows flexibility. Until we achieve this, we are busy too!

Paradoxically, when you are super busy, life gets easier if you take the harder road. This means planning your workout and putting it on your calendar, packing your bag, and following through. Yes, it is harder to plan tomorrow’s dinner right now, but when dinner rolls around, it is a mental break to eat the healthy meal that is already prepared.

This also means planning your meals, and keeping in mind where you can eat healthy if you have to run out to a restaurant near your work.

To blame being busy, or blame other people’s decisions or circumstances gives those things power. It is a false power, however; they don’t truly have power of you.

Do This Now

Make a plan for tomorrow. Pick 1 thing: exercise, or food. Then, decide how you’ll succeed at that one thing tomorrow. If you pick exercise, decide today what you will do tomorrow, then plan for it! Pack that gym bag, or put your tennis shoes by the front door.

If you picked food, then decide right now what you can eat that will be healthy. Remember, lean protein + veggies + a side of carbs, and lots of water. This means you should stop by the store if you need. Make time for that. Need ideas? Some of my favorite recipes: citrus salmon & broccoli, oven baked Italian chicken & veggies, or my favorite easy breakfast.

Next week, I am going to cover what to do when life gets crazy. I mean crazy: when work owns your life, kids are at camp and every week is different, or a family member has terminal illness. Stay tuned for tips on how to manage being healthy through those times.

How to Get What You Want: A Foolproof Guide to Setting and Achieving Big Goals, In and Out of the Gym

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Les Brown says, “Shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” 

Selena Gomez sings, “The heart wants what it wants.”

I don’t want the moon. Ever since I watched Apollo 13, space flight has seriously freaked me out. I’m grateful for NASA and people with steelier nerves than me, but I am not Elon Musk. This girl enjoy warm showers and abundant oxygen.

What if your heart really doesn’t know what it wants? There was a time when knew I didn’t like my job, and I had aspirations of improving myself, being happier, living for the moment and other regurgitated platitudes, but I didn’t know how to get there. Those are emotions, not actionable goals. They are vague. How do you get there, that ambiguous place where you are happy and present? Where is there? 

Further, how do I know what my heart wants? This is also a vague question. Not every person knows from a young age exactly what career path or life goal he or she wants. Often, people are in painful situations precisely because they don’t know what they want. As for me, I’m a literal person. My masters degree is clinical exercise physiology. Between the AV node, QRS complex and cardiac output, I think my heart is just telling me to go run more stairs.


Goal Setting Takes Work

Goal setting can be hard, both in life and in the gym. It takes deep thought, consideration, and time to decide what you want out of life. What you are really deciding on is where to spend your time and that is a hugely difficult decision! Time is the most valuable resource, one that no brilliant researcher or billionaire has found a way to create more of. 

What is most worthy of spending your time working toward?

 

You Start Where You Start

Begin by acknowledging this: you start where you start. You can try to deny it and jump ahead, but it will only hurt you. You are in a factual situation; if you are 15 credits and a thesis away from a degree, you have 15 credits and a thesis to go. If you can squat 150 pounds, you can squat 150 pounds. In the gym, trying to skip steps and start at a place too advanced can hurt you. There is no shame in starting where you are.

 

How to Decide What You Want

Get out your calendar right now. Schedule two separate half hour chunks of time where you sit down and think.

At this first session, sit by yourself, put your phone on airplane mode in the next room over, and let your mind wander. This is a brainstorming session in which you don’t cut down anything. You can decide later if it’s a bigger goal than you are willing to work toward. For now, just think about possibilities. 

Ask yourself these questions: 

  • What do I want my ideal workday to look like one year from now? 


I want to  teach my clients to flip tires all day! Halfway kidding. We do other things too.

I want to  teach my clients to flip tires all day! Halfway kidding. We do other things too.

  • Where do I want to retire? 
  • Who am I good at helping?
  • What am I good at doing?
  • What do I enjoy doing?
  • What do I need to be happy?
  • What do I want to be happy?

 

 

These are malleable goals. Do not stress yourself into thinking there is one perfect vision of life you are chasing. You can adjust goals as you go. People naturally do this all the time. College students begin by declaring a major, take some classes, and either confirm their decision or change it. People in the workforce have mid-life career changes and restructure their whole lives to change jobs.

In the gym, people begin working toward one goal and shift toward another. Bikini competitors begin train for a show and realize they like powerlifting. Crossfitters will begin prescribed workouts and decide to focus on Olympic lifting. These things are allowed to happen! They are all part of finding what you naturally enjoy and do well.

 

How to Decide What You Want, Session 2

At your next half hour goal session, rewrite these thoughts into more accomplishable goals. Take these point by point and break them down into less abstract feelings and more concrete action steps. 

For example, my brainstorming session 1 looked similar to this: 

I want to be happy! I want to be flexible and live on my own terms. I’m not happy in an office 40 hours a week, and I always gravitate back toward the gym, even though the last “office job” I had was in fitness and only a few hours a day at a desk. One of my favorite things in the gym is teaching the deadlift for the first time, and watching people realize they are stronger than they thought. 

I want to help people. I hate hate hate ALS and want to help people with it, but I keep getting my tender heart broken every time I get to know another patient who is living with ALS. How can I help and not be sad all the time?  We need to find a cure. 

I want to go to Paris again, and travel more! I want to learn French, but I could spend all that time reading more exercise research. Hmm. 

To accomplish: drive my big lifts up (bench press, deadlift, squat). Get big shoulders. Also I want to want to do yoga, but haven’t decided if I want to. 

Longer term goal: I will have a condo by Tiger Stadium to stay in when I go to football games. 


True story: one of my goals was to visit France to see my friend Marion, who was an exchange student at my high school. It took me 15 years, but we spent my 31st birthday walking miles around Paris and catching up. In English, because I don't speak …

True story: one of my goals was to visit France to see my friend Marion, who was an exchange student at my high school. It took me 15 years, but we spent my 31st birthday walking miles around Paris and catching up. In English, because I don’t speak French.

These are a good start. They are inherently pretty vague and selfish. Take the first one, for example. “Be happy, and live on my own terms.” Yes, we all want to be happy. That’s froo froo talk. What does it take for me to be happy? For starters, enjoying what I do for work. I can’t just clock in and clock out. Happiness also means seeing live music often, since that is my favorite pastime outside the gym. Spending time with my family is a priority.


Regarding my rambling goals about helping people: this is a great start too. James 2:26 says, “Faith without works is dead.” Similarly, it is a kind intention to want to help people, but I need to act on it. Instead of just sending well wishes into the atmosphere, I am going to volunteer with Max’s Ride (a non-profit motorcycle ride and concert which benefits ALS patients), and the ALS Association. 

From looking at these first two points with the goal to act on them, I can say that to be happy, and fulfilled, I need to teach lifting as a career. I love reading science journals, so the ethical continuing education is enjoyable for me. I will make it a point to get my friends together to watch live music, visit out of town family members, and volunteer with local organizations against ALS.

Pull out your brainstorming list and think strategically about how to make those softer goals more tangible. Nothing is wrong with the softer goals, but if you can’t think of a plan to reach them, you probably won’t reach them.

 

Make 1, 5, and 10 Year Goals

Now that you have made a big, general brainstorm about what you want out of life, and you’ve restructured those wants into processes to reach them, think about that career question again. What do you wish your ideal workday looked like today? 

Perhaps you would wake up, take your children to school, and head to the office. It’s not a cake walk, but you get some concentrated, hard work done on a satisfying challenge. At a good break point, you head to the gym, blow off some steam and sweat a bit, and head home for a cell-phone free dinner with the family. 


I'm a happy girl if I can watch live music every week.

I’m a happy girl if I can watch live music every week.

Perhaps you ideal day begins with a workout. You sweat it up while thinking about that vacation you are planning, and the business you are building to get there. You invest your work and time heavily into yourself, have lunch with a mentor, then put your head back in the game a few more hours before heading off to happy hour to watch a band with friends. 

Your ideal life routine might be different from either of those scenarios. Consider your ideal routine, and ask yourself if it is do-able. Can you imagine it being a realistic scenario? Given 10 years, do you think you can organize your life in a way that you reach that ideal day? It might be more realistic than you think.

Think about what you wish you had done 10 years ago. What do you wish you had started 10 years ago that you could be working with today? You probably have not just 10 years, but decades ahead of you. You have time to achieve gigantic goals. You just have to identify those goals and work toward them.

5 Year Goals


It’s pretty safe to say that by now, you’ve thought of some 10 year goals. Hopefully you were honest about what you want to have/work toward, and didn’t chalk any up to just being a pipe dream. To help get you there, think about your halfway point. These are your 5 year goals. Let’s take my last brainstorm point, which is to own a condo by Tiger Stadium. It’s doesn’t need to (and won’t) happen by this football season, but I’d really like it to happen. Like many goals, the way to achieve this one is simple: I can begin by saving money, which will allow me to have a large down payment by the time I am ready to act on this. 

1 Year Goals


Think of these like your to do list. You can start on these now. Right now. Make a plan to go by the bank tomorrow and open a new savings account. Deposit a certain amount of money in it each month. Research non-profits to be involved in, with the goal to commit a certain number of hours to it each month. Find a gym you will go to twice a week, a trainer or accountability partner, and do it.

Do you remember the ice bucket challenge? I was lucky enough to be able to jump right in since I was volunteering with the ALS Association. It did great things for advocacy and awareness for ALS!

 

Body Goals

Relating specifically to body goals I want you to really think about what you want. Without inhibition, without guilt, without shame. You own your body. You get to choose your goals. Nobody else. I’ve had several clients females who were very hesitant to share their goals with me. I knew there were things left unspoken so after some gentle but persistent prodding they shared with me that they felt it was unfeminist to have vain body goals.

I think it’s the opposite. A very liberated individual is entitled to feel great in her own skin. You are the only person in your own skin. You have to live in your body all day. If you don’t like how your clothes fit, YOU wear the discomfort all day. Don’t you deserve better? You have to be uncomfortable walking upstairs if you’re out of shape. You have to look in the mirror and feel good or bad about yourself. You own your body and you have every right to decide how you look how you feel and what you want. Feminist or not, you’ll have the right to set your own goals without consulting others. 


Photo by Matthew DeFeo, during a period of time where I took great care of myself. http://www.matthewdefeophotography.com/

Photo by Matthew DeFeo, during a period of time where I took great care of myself. 

http://www.matthewdefeophotography.com/

And you deserve to feel good in your skin. You own your body.

If you are on a restrictive diet, you’re the one who feels hungry all day, and if you have an eating disorder you’re the one who bears the burden all the time. You owe it to yourself to take care of your health. Your body is an outward manifestation of your health. Who cares what other people want you to look like? You decide for yourself what you want.

 

 

 

Tell Me Your Goals

I am fascinated by the decisions people make. What do you want? What are you working toward? How can I help you get there? Let me know! Email me now. kathryn@kathrynalexander.com


Gabrielle d'Estrées et une de ses soeurs, which hangs in the Louvre.  Gabrielle pinches her sister's nipple, meaning her sister is pregnant. This is both funny and heartwarming at once, and I would never have seen it if I had not traveled.

Gabrielle d’Estrées et une de ses soeurs, which hangs in the Louvre.  Gabrielle pinches her sister’s nipple, meaning her sister is pregnant. This is both funny and heartwarming at once, and I would never have seen it if I had not traveled.

Get Out of the Summer Slump

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We are deep into summer as I’m writing this. You should be standing in your “after” picture right now. Are you? Remember in January when you looked forward to summer, with ideas of the smokin’ hot body you’d be bringing to boat parties and beach getaways? OH yes, you were gonna kill it in the gym this year. 

Or maybe you’re on that vacation you wanted to get in shape for. The big trip you bought comfortable shoes for, in anticipation of covering miles of meandering European countryside, or walking blocks in the big city. Perhaps your active vacation was carrying golf clubs on your dream course. I hope some of you got to do that. 


summerbeach.jpg

Ahh, summer. A season of long, lazy days that allow us to enjoy a slower pace of life and refill our soul. 

Bahahaha. Don’t worry, you’re in good company if that doesn’t sound like your summer either.

We Are All Busy

One of the biggest perks of my job helping people in the gym is that I interact with a large number of the same people on a very regular basis, and I get to see real trends as they happen.

It is fascinating. We are more alike and in tune with each other than we think. When the seasons change and the weather is beautiful, nearly everyone bounds in the gym with energy and optimism. 

Likewise, I see moments when the collective sentiment is a very unenthusiastic “blah.” This was the case recently in Austin, and could have been caused by low grade, often undetectable mold allergies, according to my acupuncturist. 

This is why I can say with certainly that if you feel like your summer has gotten away from you, you are not alone. 

Summer = Work + Vacation + Kids (even if they are not yours)

Summer is still my favorite time of year (except football season), but it is hard work planning summers. No kidding. If you’re going on vacation, you’ve got to plan with your work and family schedules, book hotels and rental cars and fun things to do. This gets harder, people tell me, when you are packing for kids too. 

This isn’t even the regular summer change of plans if you have kids. You’ve also got to find childcare and summer camps. 


So many red dots.

So many red dots.

Even if you don’t have kids and aren’t taking a vacation, your schedule will likely be changed by others who do. If your profession involves regular appointments with people, you already know it’s crazy with reschedules and cancellations. If you are part of a team at work, you might be taking on extra work for the people out of office. 

And, if you’re among the lucky ones on a long vacation, you’ve surely got your work cut out for you when you come back in the form of emails and calls to return. It’s sometimes more work to just get back into work.

And so, it is easy to see why our fitness routines fall by the wayside in summer. We are half a year removed from New Year’s Resolutions, where the abundant optimism of others propels you along too. We are past that last pre-summer push, which happens in late March and early April. 

There are a couple variations of this one: 

  1. “Ahh, Spring Break is coming! I have GOT to get my booty in gear!”

  2. “Ahh, Spring Break is coming! Hahaha, nevermind. Just kidding. I’m too old for Spring Break. I’ve got a few more weeks before I’ve got to get in shape for summer.”

And then summer comes. And now, summer is here and we’ve got tan lines to show it. 

But you still have goals for your body even when life is busy. You still want your abs to be a little tighter, and to feel more energetic. So what is a busy person to do? 

Simple. Do something now. Anything, but do it now. Do not wait for “the right time” or til life gets a little less busy. It’ll never happen, because as soon as it does, something else gets thrown in your lap. 

Healthy, successful people do not wait for the right time. 

Your Homework

Pick one thing and commit to doing that one thing. What is that one thing? I don’t know. I’ll give you a list of ideas, but I recommend you take a mental inventory of your strengths. You know yourself and your habits better than anyone else. 

Exercise is an extremely nuanced topic we could study forever. There are many-years-long graduate programs of study in exercise, and hundreds of thousands of research studies on exercise. The big things, however, are well understood, and you know which of those you are good at, such as cooking a great healthy chicken salad, or committing to morning yoga classes.

Guidelines

Your activity must be something: 

  • You can do everyday, or with some regularity

  • You are 95% sure you can maintain

See what we are doing here? We are setting you up to be successful. We are setting you up to win.

The Rules

  • Commit to doing this thing for one month. You can continue on if you like, but it’s perfectly fine to quit at one month.

  • No guilt! No guilt if you miss a day. Just prepare better so you can do it tomorrow.

Give this some thought, then if you choose to commit, give it a real, honest go. It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant the action is. You are making a commitment, making positive change, and establishing a habit.

Why Just One Thing?

People do better at change where there is only one change to focus on. After your month, you can pick a different one or add another. Remember, the smallest healthy change you make is better for you the the best comprehensive health overhaul that you abandon. Reason #2 for just one thing, I always wanted to make a cheesy title like that. “Do this one weird trick!!” Haha!

Examples:

  • Stretch for 15 minutes every evening

  • Attend yoga or Pilates class 3 times a week

  • Floss your teeth every day

  • Drink 64 ounces of water every day

  • Weight train 3 times per week

  • Get 8 hours of sleep every day

  • Cook a healthy breakfast every morning

  • Have 2 boiled eggs every morning for the 12 extra grams of protein

  • Meditate for 15 minutes every day

  • Do a challenging sudoku or crossword puzzle every day

  • Express gratitude every day

  • Give a genuine compliment every day

  • Walk around your block every morning

  • Consume approximately 25/38 grams of fiber per day (female/male, respectively)

One final note. Email me if you need accountability! Email me to tell me your habit! I would love to update this list with healthy habits I haven’t mentioned, and I’m fantastic at nagging, I mean, checking in to see how you are sticking to your plan.

I’m off to meditate, my goal for the next month!