attitude

On Being Strong

January 19, 2021 by Kathryn Alexander

Very literally speaking, there’s no downside to being stronger. Not one. Either physically or emotionally stronger is a step in a positive direction.

Every time I meet someone new and we discuss potentially working together, I have them start at the beginning and tell me what exactly they want.

It is impossible, I believe, to separate what you want in the gym from what you want in life. Leaving the gym feeling better than you did when you walked in 61 minutes ago is a victory that sets you up for a more enjoyable day.

Starting your day with exercise that makes you feel strong and accomplished leads to a day executed with a sharp and decisive mind. Working at a goal over days and weeks and months, and finally reaching that goal leads to a feeling of pride that stays with you longer after you leave the weight room.

So, when I sit down with new clients and ask what they want, I am asking more than how much they want to bench press, or what size pants they want to wear.

Sidenote, I do love measurable and numeric goals, and I love physical goals. Life’s short; I want you to love your body and feel confident in your own skin!

But – I want to lead people to discover these intangibles in life, too. Confidence, happiness, strength. (I am aware that there are ways to quantify confidence, happiness, and strength, but there is no commonly used score. “Hey Bob, what’s your Happiness Index at today?”)

What Does It Mean to Be Strong?

Sometime in my undergraduate career, I had an assignment to write a mission statement. I wrote a series of statements, soooo creative.

The first one was something about being “strong for my family,” as we were in a challenging time. It was an unoriginal platitude, one my professor very kindly called me on. She asked, “What does it mean to be strong?” Basically, how would I know I am accomplishing that? What does it mean? Does it mean I don’t cry? Does it mean I don’t show emotion?

Does it mean I don’t stop and ask for help when my power steering goes out on the side of the road to New Orleans? Haha, sorry bout that one, Mom, but what a great story! Spoiler alert, I survived; the power steering belt did not.

How do you be strong in the non-quantitative way? It’s probably different for everyone. For me, I believe the way to be strong is to have goals, work at them, believe in yourself, and stay the course. That is to be strong.

How to Make Yourself Take Action: Exercise Minute with KVUE

January 2, 2018 by Kathryn Alexander

Happy New Year! Whew! We did it, guys! We made it through the Christmas frenzy. I’m still a little bit Pollyanna: I love Christmas, with all its travel and and gift giving and family loving.

Even with all the good, it was stressful, and I have a teeny little sense of relief to pack up the Christmas decor until next year.

What Next?

Many people finish the holidays with a little bit of exhaustion, a couple extra pounds, and a lotta bit of guilt. Let me save you lots of time and mental anguish and assure you:

There is no need to detox! Do not take detox tea or wraps. Our kidneys and liver do that for us.
There is no need to feel guilty! We are made to seek pleasure from our relationships and meaningful holidays. Turn that attention forward!

Quick, before you keep reading, pull out your phone and make an event on your calendar 7 days from now. Title it “Because I am worth it.”

It’s Not Always So Easy

I’m going to take us back to school for a minute here and introduce you to the Transtheoretical Stages of Change Model. Bear with me; I have found this to be extremely helpful in understanding where people (including me!) are when they approaching making changes in their health, or why they don’t make any change at all.

Developed by researchers James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, this suggests that people are not universally in the same place, ready to change. Some people are. Some people are not.

You can read the full text here, and please take a minute to acknowledge how wonderful it is to be able to read journal text freeeee! Transtheoretical Therapy: Toward a More Integrative Model of Change

The stages move from less likely to change, to a post-change maintenance phase. For example, consider someone you know who smokes. Some smokers hate the habit and are seeking ways to quit. Maybe they have even already taken action, and tried to quit. Some smokers are just doing their thing, not wanting to quit at all.

Why is this? Why are some people ready to change, and others not even considering it, and even more confusing, some declaring they are ready to quit, but haven’t taken any steps toward quitting?

The Stages of Change model suggests that the smoker who has no inclination to change is in the pre contemplative stage. He isn’t even contemplating change. It is nowhere on his horizon to even think about quitting.

The contemplative smoker is considering it. He has considered quitting, and maybe has a good why: his health, being there for his kids, etc. He hasn’t taken action though. Not quite yet.

The smoker in the preparation phase has made up his mind to change! He will change, and is actively considering how to. (Personal trainers, THIS is where people are when they call you and request a consult. Help them here, be excited for them! They are going to make progress!) If your friend the smoker is in this phase, encourage him with happiness and support! Take a walk after dinner so he won’t be tempted to light up.

The action phase! This is where it happens! This is where people smoker fewer cigarettes, try the patch, or alter their cigarette buying/smoking habits. This is where people join a gym, exercise, take walks around the block.

What we want to see is people in the maintenance phase. This means they have been in the action phase and are living in a good habit. They don’t have the mental struggle of not smoking after every meal, or going to the gym every day. This is where we want people to be. This is where I want you to be.

Back It Up: Where are You?

The reason I tell you about the Stages of Change: I want you to understand that where you are is OK, and that you shouldn’t feel guilty about not being in maintenance NOW. If you were in pre contemplation yesterday, you won’t be in maintenance tomorrow.

Further, and more importantly, I want you to know you can push yourself toward an action phase. You don’t have to hope it magically comes around. It is peaceful to accept that you are where you are, and you make steps toward where you want to be. Remember, I might not be pre contemplative about my training, but I am about other things in my life. This is good for us all to consider.

If you are reading this, you are likely in a contemplative or preparatory phase. To push yourself toward the action phase, we are going to look forward and get ready for you to take action!

How to Push Yourself to Take Action

Remember that everything is a mental game. We make our schedules, our decisions, our priorities. If exercise and training is truly important to you, begin thinking about why and how you are going to take action.

Answer these questions:

Why is this important to you? Examples:
– I want to be there for my grandkids. Shoot, not even be there, I want to be on the floor playing with them on Christmas morning! (Aunt Kathryn worked realllll hard to keep up with the kids this Christmas. I want to be able to do that forever!)
– I want to feel better about my body so I am confident when dating.
– I want to be able to keep up with everyone else in Austin who seems to have a really active lifestyle. (True story; I am reminded I need to practice cardio more when I get suckered into running around Lady Bird Lake.)
– I want my butt bigger. No shame, girl! You own your body and you get to make it what you want. Want bigger biceps and chest? Same!
What type of activities do you enjoy? Be honest with yourself! Like I mentioned, I don’t love running. Make me “commit” to a running program, and I will fail. This from a girl who did 26 squat workouts in October. #Squatober
What schedule works for you? Pick a schedule you have a high likelihood of sticking to. Will you workout at lunch time? If so, pack a gym bag with shower sandals, a towel, and soap.
Think about what you need to begin. Aforementioned gym bag, tennis shoes, a bike?

Erika Lopez of KVUE and I discuss the importance of choosing a plan, activities you enjoy, and acting on it to begin the New Year in a healthy way. (Both this text and the picture are links.)

Some people think of this as working on New Year’s Resolutions, which makes total sense at this time of year. I want you to apply this action-taking framework anytime of the year, though. You don’t get a free pass if you happen to be reading this mid year! It’s always a good time to do something good for yourself!

Clearly, we are super excited to share this with yall.

What Next

Look forward. No more guilt. Consider everything you just thought of. What is popping in your head? Time to join that running group you’ve been meaning to see about? Next time you drive by, park your car at that gym you drive by and look at every day. Maybe you know you should go to the grocery store and make those healthy meals you know how to.

Go back to that date you put in your phone. That’s your goal date. Do that thing, that one starting step, by the date from now. Because you are worth it.

Then, my friend, you will be in the action phase.

Guys, I LIVE for updates! Email me or comment below and fill me in on what steps you’ve taken for you! kathryn@kathrynalexander.com

Get 50% off your first two months with The Home Team Training here:

What Real People Do to Be Successful

August 9, 2016 by Kathryn Alexander

Do you ever wonder what other people do to be successful? How do others set themselves up to get their workouts and make smart meal choices?

I wonder too, for a second… then I usually just go ask. I’m nosy, I mean, curious like that.

In the past two posts, I discussed how you can take control of your life and how to do that even in crazy situations. (Parts 1 and 2 here, in case you missed it.) More recently, I went straight to my sources and asked people who get it done how they do it.

When I’m in a time crunch, my go-to solution is to do a full-body circuit: squats, pushups, kettlebell swings, pull ups, military presses, and deadlifts are my best bets when I can only do 15 minutes!

Genevieve Malone, construction management engineer and founder of The Inertia Project

All I think is, “just put my tennis shoes on” and nothing else. Once you take the first step, the rest just follows. I think about how much better I’ll feel after even just 10 minutes of doing something. Exercise is the best investment you can make in your future self. No one ever regretted a workout.

John Edmiston, firefighter

Meal planning is key. And rotisserie chickens are life.

Becca Ewing, business owner, videographer/photographer

I make an appointment with my trainer that I know I will keep. I try to keep things simple… I won’t drive further than 5 minutes (from home or work) to get to the gym and I actually prefer to jog or bike there too. Every minute counts.

Tammy Young, Owner/Broker, Realtor®, GRI, Seed Property Group

I prioritize meal prepping, and simplify it. I try to find half an hour to make a batch of chicken and buy a ton of steam fresh veggies. 1 piece of chicken + 1 bag of veggies = a healthier alternative to fast food (if I’m really strapped for time, precooked chicken sausage and a bag of steamfresh veg = yum, plus they come frozen so easy to keep cold if you’re on the go)

Go for lots of walks throughout the day. 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there. Sometimes a walk is also exactly what you need stress wise to just get away. I set a timer to go off every hour for me to get up and walk around for 10 minutes and force myself to do it. So I may not have time to go and “get a workout in” – but I’ve at least been moving and keeping my stress low throughout the day.

Staci Ardison, Rebel Operations, Master of Deadlifts at Nerd Fitness

Prepare! Take advantage of your “safe spots” around town, where you can count on a healthy meal.

David Archer, contest prep specialist, owner Precision Fitness

I do workouts even if I can’t make it to the gym. My wife and I do home workout videos and we mapped out our neighborhood for walks.

Claude McCan, musician, producer

That's 405 pounds ONE MONTH after he got his prosthesis... that's why I listen to what this guy says... — That’s 405 pounds ONE MONTH after he got his prosthesis… that’s why I listen to what this guy says…

The battle is in your mind. It all starts with your attitude. That’s the number one thing. The physical stuff comes easier once you put your mind to whatever you want.

Stephen Moore, powerlifting coach, personal trainer

I prefer training as opposed to working out. Pick an event, commit to it, and train for it. I love this because there is skin in the game and it motivates me even when I’m busy.

Missy Calkins, Founder of lift[HER] and VP of Business Development at 401k Marketing

I go on Instagram and look at people who motivate me to go workout.

Alex Hooper, Army Special Forces, Green Beret

Kathryn: Sarah sums this up perfectly, in words I have searched for for years.

That realization that no one can do it for you, no matter what the “it” may be (fitness or another life goal), is both incredibly frightening and, if we allow it to be, completely liberating.

Sarah Buttrill, wife, mother, professional educator, Zumba instructor, musician

What to do When Life Gets Crazy: (Taking Ownership, Part 2)

July 26, 2016 by Kathryn Alexander

Last week I covered the importance of taking ownership of your life to get what you want. The process of creating new habits takes effort at the beginning, but it becomes easy once you are in the routine. Your workouts will make you feel good all day and sleep better at night. Healthy meals will help you lose fat and avoid the random energy slumps during the day.

Once this becomes second nature and you are in your groove, you will wonder how you lived before feeling so good. It seems easy. You’ll see.

Then, BAM. Life will hit you.

You’ll get a reminder that you aren’t actually completely in charge. More often than not, it will be a small but significant change that throws off your schedule, such as:

a minor injury that doesn’t require extensive treatment but necessitates change in your workouts
a change in work schedule
a vacation that throws your train off the tracks just long enough to shift your momentum
new responsibilities that take more of your time

Not all of these are even bad events. The work change can be because of a promotion, and vacations are sometimes the sweetest parts of life.

How to Handle a Small Disturbance

Plan for one week

These small but significant changes are often temporary. Sometimes you know the time frame, other times they go on indefinitely. In both cases, plan for the upcoming week. Just one week. Pack workout clothes to exercise at a different time of the day and scope out healthy fast food near you. You might even plan for fewer workouts this week, and that is OK! See how you manage this one test week and adjust accordingly.

If do fewer workouts, that’s ok; acknowledge that you are choosing how to spend your time, like you do a fiscal budget. Don’t say “I can’t, I don’t have time.” Acknowledge that your time was better served knocking down your to do list, and that you’re going to get back on it tomorrow or next week.

About Injuries

If you have a small, non serious injury, continue to workout around it. If your wrist is bothering you, don’t skip the gym! Go, and work the things you can. Lunges, step ups, possibly other cardio. Or go for a walk or run! Likewise, if your knee or hip hurts, continue to get your upper body and core stability work in. If getting to the gym takes an almost unreal amount of motivation for you, then it’s even more important that you don’t quit going! Go, and stretch. Go, and work the 3 exercises you can safely. Don’t lose your momentum!

Look to Learn from Others

Look around at other people who are in your position and successfully managing to do what you want to do. Ask the guy in your office who seems really fit how he handles the work hours, home life, and fits in exercise. He might know a killer cafe just off your regular path, or a great little gym you weren’t aware of.

Ask the busiest people you know how they manage their time. (Protip: be respectful of people’s time. Ask a succinct and specific question: “I have noticed that even when you’re super busy, you’re very successful. How do you manage all your work responsibilities, and find time to eat healthy with your family?)

Cut Down On Your Workout Frequency

This might not be what you expected me to say, but it’s absolutely ok. Sometimes you are just in a phase of life where you cannot workout as much. It’s OK to be on a maintenance plan. Re-evaluate your schedule, adjust accordingly, and find the best option. Workout twice a week if that’s all you can do. Take a half mile walk around the block twice a week if that’s all you can manage.

How to Handle a Large Disturbance

Unlike a minor setback, large changes in your life can be tremendously challenging and stressful for long durations. These are the worst of bad situations that only happen a few times in life.

This is when life dumps bad things on you, when everything is wrong, all at once; when you are stretched to your limit emotionally. This is usually serious and painful, like an illness threatening yourself or a loved one, or an extremely challenging work program.

Reframe

Step back and identify your main goal. What do you need to do? Get through residency. Graduate from the fire academy. See your chemotherapy through. Care for your mother, who is caring for your father, who has ALS. Support your wife while she’s exhausted, up with the new baby every 3 hours, all day.

Don’t work toward your exercise goals as aggressively during this time. Remember, these are the times you train for. You train for exactly this, to be healthy when you need to be, to be mentally sound when others need you to be. To have great habits to fall back upon, so that even your “unhealthy” isn’t disastrous.

Be Kind to Yourself

Be honest about what you can do. If you are extremely taxed emotionally or physically, you won’t recover as well, so your workouts cannot be as strenuous. Same scenario if you aren’t sleeping as well.

What do you like to do? Put on your favorite music and stretch? Do that for 10 minutes a day. Get a spontaneous walk around the office when you finished a project early.

In short, remember that moving and eating well will make you feel better, which can make the tougher times easier to handle. However, you must be kind to yourself and give yourself a break if you aren’t your usual superman or woman.

Remember, this too, shall pass.

Why is it Important to Take Ownership: Get What You Want

July 18, 2016 by Kathryn Alexander

Taking ownership of your life, your body, your habits, and your results is the most important thing you can do in life.

This will be the most important blog post I write.

More important than any technical info, any recipe, or any magic secret. Taking ownership gives you freedom, control, and means you can get what you want.

Note: the concept of taking control of your life is one I have preached for a long time. (If you don’t control your life, how can you change it?) The word “ownership” and the concept of owning your decisions is one that Jocko Willink espouses. Thank you to Jocko for stating this more eloquently than I have ever even dreamed of.

Did You Workout Yesterday?

Did you workout yesterday? If not, why not? Did you get your workouts last week? If not, do your reasons sound like this:

I was so busy.
I had an unexpected meeting thrown at me.
I was so tired. I got to the end of the day and just couldn’t do it.
I forgot my gym bag. Or sports bra, or shoes, etc.
My kid got sick and it threw off my whole day.
I got roped into a lunch with coworkers.
I had a going away meeting with a friend who’s moving. She’s moving, I couldn’t miss that.
Oooh, I had a last minute date. Surprise happy hour!

Some of those are legitimate issues. If your kids get sick, you have to take care of them. Getting your job done means attending a meeting you didn’t know you had and working late to meet a deadline you can’t control.

Assess Your Life

You probably don’t have control of every aspect of your life or schedule, but you have control of enough things to be successful. Your responsibility is to identify your weaknesses, your challenges, and how you can overcome those things.

You also need to let go of your excuses. You need to know you can get workouts, plan your food, lose weight and increase strength even with your work and family responsibilities.

Don’t believe me? Look around. Many people in your situation are working full time, volunteering, driving kids around, and still making their health a priority. Somewhere among the 7 billion plus people sharing this planet are many people who have the exact, or almost exact, same scenario as you and overcame it.

They aren’t super moms and dads, uber successful people who get an extra 2 hours a day. They are people who encountered a problem, studied it until found a solution, and planned for it next time. This is all trial and error. They might have missed a workout or two until finding a workable solution, but you can get someone in your situation found that workable solution.

Consider again the reasons you had trouble getting in your workouts last week. Look at those reasons/excuses/roadblocks and be very honest with yourself about them. Are you actually too tired to exercise, or do you just hate your chosen exercise? Honestly identifying these reasons is key. From here, look for patterns. Are you raring to go Monday morning, weekend indulgences fresh on your mind, but tapering off by Wednesday?

Give this real thought. There aren’t right or wrong answers. Don’t feel shame about them. It’s not whining about excuses if you’re actually identifying roadblocks with the goal to eliminate or manage them.

Make a Plan

Take the “I’m too tired” reason for not working out. Perhaps you are so tired and this keeps you from working out 4 days a week. It might not even be an excuse because you are legitimately really tired!

Instead of telling yourself you must just barge through the fatigue, look at other areas in your life. Can you improve your sleep habits so you are more well rested? Perhaps your company treats you to a giant food fest at lunch that makes you crash in the afternoon. Work on feeling rested and it won’t take so much willpower to do your workout.

Knock Down Barriers

Let’s look at another. You forgot your gym bag. Guilty! I used to do it all the time. I’ve started carrying extra clothes in a bag in my trunk, and an outfit that’s nice enough for happy hour or dinner. I can get a workout and go straight from the gym. I don’t have to go home, skip my workout, get ready and then go.

That is preemptively planning for success. I don’t have to refuse last minute invites unless I want to! (Let’s be real; I’m a planner. I am SOOO down for dinner 2 Thursdays from now, 7:15pm).

In a more difficult scenario, you might find yourself at work, facing a deadline when you get a call about a sick kid. It’s hard to leave because you have bosses to whom you are accountable and you’re accountable to your team.

What do you do? You get your kid.

You miss your workout. Thats fine! It’s one day!

If having to leave work to pick up your child was a rare situation because he isn’t often sick and your spouse was out of town, then you don’t have to handle it differently. Take care of your family, eat a good dinner and get your next scheduled workout.

If it is a common occurrence that this makes you miss your workout, make a plan around it. You can do early morning workouts before any interruption, or tougher weekend workouts with quick low intensity exercise mid workday. Many people do this, especially busy people who are accountable most of the business hours. That doesn’t mean it’ll be easy, or fun.

But it will be worth it!

Plan Your Food Too

Food is a huge part of your success whether you’re trying to lose fat, gain muscle, or improve performance. Like you examined your workouts, look back on your diet. What did you eat for breakfast today? Did it push you in the right direction? Did the food and drink choices you made this week help you?

If not, what is the reason? Often it is just lack of preparation. You run out the door in the morning, and grab what happens to be in the fridge. Nothing in the fridge? There’s always that taco truck every day by work. (Or does that only happen in Austin? It feels like they will chase you down with food!) You have to prepare or you’ll end up making do with what aren’t the best options.

Parents often tell me it’s tough making healthy food choices with children. The kid’s tastes are fickle or they have kid birthday parties with sweets and junk food. Many parents have found success modeling healthy eating at home and including the children in the same meals as age appropriate.

As I grew up, my mom explained to me that sweets, such as those at birthday parties, are for special occasions. It made me understand that we can indulge guilt-free, but it doesn’t happen every day.

Include Family in Your Healthy Habits

As you change your habits, expect that you might get some pushback from your spouse, family and friends.

A 2014 study of data from over 2000 adults found that we are genetically more similar to people who choose as our friends than we are to strangers. Perhaps this can explain why people are sometimes threatened by the choices their friends make.

Have you ever noticed that if you decline a drink, or a dessert, people encourage you to “go ahead, have just one!”? Our friends and their habits are so familiar to us, that when we start to change, it affects them too.

However, wouldn’t you want a friend who is abstaining for health reasons to make that healthy choice? Absolutely! Is it Topo Chico in her glass? Vodka soda? As long as she is safe, it shouldn’t matter to us. Remember that this works the other way as well. You get to decide to have a salad, skip dessert, partake in dessert, drink or abstain.

Stand Your Ground

Here is where you have to stand by your decisions. Decide what your goals are and how aggressively you will pursue them. Then consider how it will affect your life and those around you (even if it shouldn’t affect them.)

If you decide to quit drinking for a month but you have a standing happy hour with your party crowd, prepare to (briefly) explain your decision if it comes up and stick with it.

Don’t Fall Into the Busy Trap

Who isn’t busy? Everybody is busy! The only people who aren’t busy are the people who planned well and worked hard to structure a life that allows flexibility. Until we achieve this, we are busy too!

Paradoxically, when you are super busy, life gets easier if you take the harder road. This means planning your workout and putting it on your calendar, packing your bag, and following through. Yes, it is harder to plan tomorrow’s dinner right now, but when dinner rolls around, it is a mental break to eat the healthy meal that is already prepared.

This also means planning your meals, and keeping in mind where you can eat healthy if you have to run out to a restaurant near your work.

To blame being busy, or blame other people’s decisions or circumstances gives those things power. It is a false power, however; they don’t truly have power of you.

Do This Now

Make a plan for tomorrow. Pick 1 thing: exercise, or food. Then, decide how you’ll succeed at that one thing tomorrow. If you pick exercise, decide today what you will do tomorrow, then plan for it! Pack that gym bag, or put your tennis shoes by the front door.

If you picked food, then decide right now what you can eat that will be healthy. Remember, lean protein + veggies + a side of carbs, and lots of water. This means you should stop by the store if you need. Make time for that. Need ideas? Some of my favorite recipes: citrus salmon & broccoli, oven baked Italian chicken & veggies, or my favorite easy breakfast.

Next week, I am going to cover what to do when life gets crazy. I mean crazy: when work owns your life, kids are at camp and every week is different, or a family member has terminal illness. Stay tuned for tips on how to manage being healthy through those times.